Letting Go
by Gift of the Muses
Summary: It all started with one simple sentence "I think I'm in love with Tear." Guy deals with letting go of his affection for Luke.


Mutually advantageous. Those two words were what lured him into his current situation. Guy rolled out of the bed slowly and padded naked over to the bathroom to clean up. When he was finished he headed back into the other room and began to gather his scattered clothes, donning them slowly. He could feel Jade's gaze on him, watching him dress, but the older man didn't say anything, didn't try to prevent his leaving.

After all, that wasn't part of the deal, and the deal was the entirety of the arrangement. If they didn't cling to the strict rules of their decision then feelings might possibly become involved and neither wanted that at the moment. The whole thing had started several weeks earlier with a simple comment made by Luke.

"I think I really like Tear."

Guy kept polishing his sword, rubbing the whetstone carefully up and down it's length. His back was to Luke who was lying on the second bed in the room. "I see." He kept his voice carefully modulated.

There was a rustle of clothing as Luke rolled over. "She looks at me like you always do, ya know. She sees me, Luke, not all the faces I have to wear. It's kinda embarrassing in a way, but it also feels good."

"I'm happy for you Luke." Guy kept his motions steady. "Have you told her yet?"

Another rustle. "No." There was disgruntlement in Luke's voice. "Every time I try Anise pops up. It's like she has a sixth sense for private conversations."

"She's probably just trying to scare off the competition." Finally satisfied with the sharpness of his blade's edge Guy slid the sword carefully back into it's sheathe and put away the whetstone and rag he'd been using.

"Guy," There was hesitancy in Luke's voice.

Guy clenched one hand tightly into a fist. _No, don't say it._ He turned around, facing the young replica. "Don't worry about it Luke. I know." He moved around the bed, aware of Luke's gaze following his every movement and sat down across from him. "I'll always be here for you."

"I know." But there was relief in Luke's voice. He sat up suddenly and stretched, arching backwards slightly. "I'm hungry."

"I think I saw a restaurant downstairs." Guy offered. "You should invite Tear to go with you."

"That's a good idea."

Guy watched as Luke bounded off the bed and headed for the door. He paused, turning back to face the blonde swordsman. "Aren't you coming?'

"In a little bit. I've got a few more things I need to do."

"All right." Luke seemed pacified and left.

_A few more things to do, right._ Guy stared at the closed door. _What a load of bull._ He didn't want to go down to the restaurant, to watch Luke and Tear exchange glances. Everyone in the party knew how the two felt about each other, and he was happy for Luke, truly.

But…

_I want you._ He wanted to own him entirely.

But…

It was that word that hit him every time, kept him from the selfish actions. He would let Luke go, stay his friend, if not his companion. Talk with him, laugh with him, share the same room as him and feel his heart shatter into a million little pieces every time they were together.

He couldn't go down the restaurant, but he couldn't stay in this room, risking Luke coming back to try and find him. It was time to find a bar

***

"My, my, my. This is unusual."

The voice was a familiar one. Guy stared down at the glass in his hand, wondering if he could manage to get it to his mouth without spilling the contents all over himself. He was drunk and he knew it.

"It's seldom we see the ever vigilant Guy let himself relax."

"Shu' up Jade." Guy could feel his words slur together. He turned to glare at the colonel and blinked woozily. " 'm drinkin'."

"Yes, I can smell that." Jade sat down on the barstool next to Guy and gestured for the bartender.

"Sho much fer peace and quiet." Guy mumbled. He managed to get his glass to his mouth, sucking down the contents and slamming the glass back onto the bar top.

"I believe you have me mistaken for our other companion, the one with the flaming red hair and the big mouth." Jade took a drink. "The one who's burgeoning romantic interests have driven you to this disgraceful display."

"Was tryin' to forget." Guy admitted. "Was workin' 'til you reminded me."

"My sincerest apologies." Jade sounded anything but.

"Wha' do ya want?" Guy tapped his glass, trying to get the bartender's attention.

"I was just out for an evening drink before bed." Jade waved the bartender off as he finished his own drink. "That's enough for now Guy."

"No i's not." Guy raised a finger, stabbing it at Jade. "You have no righ' to treat me like a kid."

"You are thoroughly plastered." Jade said firmly. "Therefore I believe you have discarded any decision making skills you might have possessed." He rose, adjusting his glasses briefly, before taking Guy's arm and tugging him to his feet. "Come along."

Guy allowed the Colonel to sling his arm over his shoulders and followed as the man half led, half dragged him out of the bar. His feet didn't seem to want to cooperate, they kept tripping over themselves and other invisible obstacles, plus he felt the inane urge to giggle hysterically.

"This really isn't working." Jade murmured next to him. "Why you had to choose a bar so far away from the hotel I don't really know."

Guy snickered, his head lolling down on his chest as he stared at the ground. "Ish simple. Din' wan' Luke to see me like thish."

"Yes, well, he'll most certainly see you like that if I drag you all the way back." Jade shifted his weight, pulling Guy's arm more firmly across his shoulder. "I think we'll go for plan b."

"Wha's that?" Guy asked.

"A closer inn. Come along."

In the room Guy flopped down on the bed once he'd been released from Jade's grip. "You don' have to stay." He slurred, staring up at the older man. "I'll be fine."

"Well, that is debatable." Jade adjusted his glasses. "I think you should probably try and sleep it off." He began tugging off Guy's boots.

"You can fuck me if you want." Guy fumbled at his shirt's buttons. "I wouldn't mind. Maybe that would help me forget."

"As charming as that sounds I'm afraid I'll have to decline." Jade set Guy's boots neatly beside the bed. "I'm not in the habit of taking advantage of drunken young men trying to forget the fact they just had their heart broken."

Guy stared at him. "Are you bein' nice?"

Jade gave an exasperated sigh. "I'm always nice. Why doesn't anyone see that?" He pulled a light blanket over Guy. "Now go to sleep. We're leaving town tomorrow and I don't want to have to slow down for you."

Guy woke the next morning in a strange room and with the beginnings of a full blown hangover. He was sitting up in bed staring at the room when the door opened and Jade entered. "Well, good morning sunshine." The colonel seemed extraordinarily cheerful.

Guy scowled and gave a grunt.

"Glad to see you're awake." Jade ignored Guy's glares and dropped a clean set of clothes onto the bed next to him. "I smoothed things over for you with the party. Luke was worried sick about you, you know. Don't worry, I explained."

"Oh." Guy started to change and then paused when he realized Jade was standing there, arms crossed, watching him. "Was there something else?"

"No." Jade didn't move.

Guy stared at him for a moment, then decided to ignore him while he changed into his clean clothes.

"Mm, very nice."

'What?" Guy could feel his cheeks heating.

"Don't tell me you forgot." Jade smirked at him. "You propositioned me last night. Of course I wouldn't take advantage of you like that, but that's not to say I wasn't interested. Well, I'll be waiting downstairs." He raised one hand in a farewell as he left.

Guy found his mouth had dropped open and he closed it abruptly. "I _propositioned _him?" His memories of the previous night were hazy from the amount of alcohol he'd drank. "It's possible I suppose. Ah gods." He buried his face in his hands. After a moment he straightened up and sighed. "I guess I'll deal with it later."

For now he had more immediate things to concern himself with. The first one he had was dealing with the rest of the party. The remainder of the day he had to deal with an inordinate amount of teasing for passing out after drinking so much.

"I really can't believe you were so irresponsible." Natalia frowned at him.

"Yeah, really." Luke grinned at Guy.

"Sorry, won't happen again." Guy apologized.

"Don't make promises you know you won't keep." Jade whispered as he passed him and Guy started.

It was worse than awkward for him. His feelings for Luke were far from resolved but he couldn't help but feel embarrassed every time he met the colonel's gaze. The man seemed to be watching him more than usual with a smug little smirk on his face.

It continued for the next several days. The colonel watching him surreptitiously while Guy avoided meeting his gaze as thoroughly as he could. Luke of course was as oblivious to the tension between the two but Tear noticed. She cornered Guy later, standing far enough away that she didn't trigger his phobia. "Is everything alright between you and the colonel?"

"Yeah, nothing's wrong." Guy said evenly.

"You seem to be avoiding him." Tear searched his face.

"Well," Guy rubbed the back of his head and continued awkwardly grabbing a handy excuse. "I guess I'm kinda embarrassed. He did see me when I was completely drunk. Just seems kinda weird."

"Oh." Tear tilted her head to the side as she considered. "I suppose that would be weird. Sorry if I bothered you."

"No, don't worry about it. Thanks for your concern." Guy smiled his brightest smile as she walked away.

"You really are quite a good liar aren't you?"

Jade's voice coming so close behind him made Guy yelp.

"Jade, what the…? You scared me."

"I do beg your pardon." Jade looked slightly amused. "I didn't expect to scare you. I assumed you knew I was there."

"I was somewhat occupied." Guy mumbled.

"I could see that."

Guy sighed and turned to face Jade directly. "I apologize if my behavior the past few days has seemed rude to you."

"Oh, not at all." Jade pushed his glasses up. "I've never seen you so discomfited except when maybe Anise was hanging off you. I found the experience to be rather amusing." His voice lowered to almost a purr and the smile he turned on Guy was extremely predatory.

"Yes, well, I'll try to act normal around you from now on."

"As you please." Jade met his gaze, his red eyes capturing Guy's blue ones. "Next time you proposition me, make sure you're completely sober. Then you can be sure I won't turn down your invitation."

Guy was completely speechless.

"Why would there be a next time?" He finally managed. "I was obviously too drunk to have any sense of propriety."

"Not a bad thing at times." Jade faced him directly. "To be honest it would be a mutually advantageous situation for both of us. Emotions wouldn't be involved of course, just simple sex. Besides I have the feeling both of us could use the relaxation."

So, Guy allowed himself to be convinced, which of course brought them both to the present. Guy finished fixing his clothes and headed for the door. He almost paused, almost said something, but lost his nerve. Instead he left silently, heading back to the room he shared with Luke.

They had been lucky so far that no one in the party had figured out what was going on. Luke of course, was extraordinarily dense, but the girls. Guy shuddered slightly. "Women are scary." He repeated a thought he'd had many times before.

The sexual release that came from his time spent with Jade almost balanced out the pain and discomfort he always experienced the next day. Jade wasn't one to hold back or be gentle. He wasn't overly rough with Guy, but he was extremely forceful. Guy had always assumed that he would be the aggressive partner in any sexual couplings he had. Jade had made it very clear the first time they were together what he expected of Guy in the relationship. "After all you were the one asking me to fuck you." Jade said calmly. Guy had acquiesced, thinking that maybe some small part of him had wanted to be submissive.

Still every time he snuck back into the room he shared with Luke he felt a twinge of guilt. Admittedly it was starting to shrink. Maybe it would soon be gone completely. He didn't know if he felt relieved or not about that idea.

He opened the door silently and slipped inside the darkened room.

There was a sigh from the far twin bed as Luke rolled over. "Guy." The redhead sighed out.

Guy froze, but Luke didn't say anything else and he realized Luke was talking in his sleep. He felt his entire body tense up and forced himself to relaxed. The entire room smelled like Luke's shampoo. The redhead must've taken a shower before he went to bed. He never dried his hair completely.

Guy started to undress slowly, tried not to think. His body responded anyway. He climbed into bed sore and yet longing to wake his roommate and instigate some intimate contact.

It took him a while before he finally went to sleep.

The next morning he woke to find Luke already up and dressed, sitting on the edge of his bed watching Guy.

"Morning." Guy yawned, covering his mouth lazily

"Did I make you mad at me?" Luke asked.

"Mad? Why would I be mad at you?" Guy was puzzled by the question.

"I don't know, but you been acting kinda strange lately."

Guy rubbed at his face. "I'm fine, everything's fine. I've just had a headache for the past couple days."

"Mm-kay." Luke bounded up off the bed and headed for the door. "You gonna be up soon? I think Jade wants to leave as soon as possible."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be down in a moment." Guy sighed and ran his hands through his hair. Of course Jade would want to leave as soon as possible and he would set the pace just a little faster than normal like usual, not even looking back at him but Guy knew he'd be smirking to himself. Still focusing on the physical ache helped him forget for just a little while the heartache that had become his constant companion whenever he looked at Luke and Tear.

Time heals all wounds.

Guy knew the saying, but what about the ones you don't allow yourself to consider? Did that old axiom apply for those as well?

Guess he would just have to wait and see.

Perhaps in his case it would be sooner rather then later. At the very least he could certainly hope so.

_Author's note: So, I was writing another Luke/Guy fic and this idea popped into my head. Sorry if it feels unfinished. I personally don't like the ending, but I couldn't get anymore ideas to pop out of my brain. It came to the last sentence and asserted itself finished. So I throw it to the mercy of you readers and hope you treat it with kindness. I will in the meantime head back to my other Luke/Guy fic and hope that I will be able to complete it within a decent timeframe. Ciao until next time._


End file.
